You know I do not support the Cry-it-out (CIO) method, and this time I thought instead of criticizing I’d share what works for us. It worked with my first, and it works with my second. It is worth trying and seeing if my Massage-it-out (MIO) method might work for you too. Because it beats CIO in my house.
When my baby seems unable to fall asleep, or unwilling to even try, like it sometimes happens and everything else failed (nursing, singing, rocking, etc.), I start massaging him. I don’t mean a full-blown session that you are probably not even qualified for, just like I am not. I just tell him to lie down for a massage. My son already learned what it is by now and he doesn’t mind trying through his tears and sobs. First I apply more pressure while stroking him all over, because when he is upset I noticed that firmer touches seem to help him relax faster. I do that for a while until I notice he is relaxed and stopped sobbing. Then I start touching him softer and slower, and then even gentler and slower. But it works like a charm now that my son is used to it and knows what to expect. I do it until he is fully asleep, or until he is relaxed enough to let me just sit next to him while he is falling asleep on his own.
This is my personal approach and it worked and works with my children.
Nothing good happens in life without adequate attention, dedication and love. It can be applied to your career, to your friends, to your pets, and the list can go on and on. But most importantly, nothing good happens when you start withdrawing your love and attention from your family, especially your babies. Listen to your instincts more, love them, hold them, don’t listen to those telling you otherwise. Your babies count on you!
Never listen to anyone telling you not to hold your babies too much, or not to respond to their cries because they will get used to that. To what? To being loved and cared for? Really? We owe it to our children, we bring them into this world that is not always an easy place to live in. The least we can do for them is offer as much love as we can while they are still little and dependent on us. Because, let’s face it, once they grow up the amount of love they receive from others is very unlikely going to increase, quite the opposite I’d think. So “spoil” them all you want while you still can. Show them that people who should care about them… actually do. And never listen to those who, probably, never received enough love in their childhood themselves, otherwise why would they be suggesting such an unnatural thing as ignoring your own children’s cries for help and attention?
Mother’s love knows no limits, and in this case this love touches anyone who comes in contact with this positively-contagious site. Changing minds one at a time. Caution: You will cry, not even once, so get your tissues ready and enjoy.
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In their own words:
This page serves as a place for those practicing attachment parenting to come for support without being told you should be doing it differently.
It is also a place for those who want to be surrounded by like-minded parents while learning to connect with their children instead of distancing themselves from them.
We are an Attachment Parenting advocacy page. There is no room here for proponents of cry it out, sleep training or scheduled feedings. If you are currently doing these things and want to try this way- you are in the right place.