I think it is very important for our children to see that we are passionate about things. I believe that we teach by example, and not by words only. Want your kid to be really interested in something? Are you interested in something yourself so he/she can see how happy it makes you?
There is really no point trying to instill a love for something specific in your child that you, yourself, don’t enjoy doing yourself. So, don’t even waste time. Lead by example, do something you love and let your kids notice and maybe even participate. Show them simple ways to find pleasure in doing things they enjoy. Happiness will follow.
Image credit: Jay Ryness (Flickr)
I hate “but”s in expressing love for children. There should be no “but”. You love your kids, it is unconditional, there are no deal-breakers and no rules that a child might break and lose his parent’s affection. Period.
Photo: Spirit-Fire (Flickr)
Oh yes!!! Wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Photo: Tom Woodward (Flickr)
You have no idea how this brought back so many memories. Not very pleasant memories, too.
Here is the thing. My mom had short temper. She always lost it when I dropped or broke things by total accident. I was terrified of what would happen once something goes wrong and I am somehow involved. And this milk example? True story in my case, except with sour cream. I still remember it like it happened yesterday. I got a glass jar with sour cream out of the fridge, put it on the counter, and it fell. There was shattered glass and dairy all over the floor, and all I could think about was, “Oh my gosh, she’ll kill me now”. Not thinking of being careful trying not to get hurt on the glass, but actually terrified of my mom’s reaction. And of course she got furious and I was punished.
There were many other similar cases that I still remember quite clearly to this day, and they always involved me being scared, and I mean really scared, and then punished. I wish I’d remembered those accidents differently, or maybe hadn’t even remembered them at all.
One of the most beautiful and true things I have heard recently. Again, any additional comments from me are really unnecessary here.
Photo: Donnie Ray Jones (Flickr)
Robin Williams (1951-2014)
I loved him as a kid, I love his work as an adult, and I have just introduced my own kids to Ms. Doubtfire a couple of weeks ago after they fell in love with Genie in “Aladdin”.
I am very sad, but I hope he finally found peace that he was searching.
These are my thoughts every time I see parents being disrespectful and violent with their kids. I understand where they are coming from. They have been treated the exact same way when they, themselves, were kids. Most of them don’t even see anything wrong with their negative parenting style, they never stop and think that, maybe, this is not right. And some of them become very aggressive towards anyone suggesting that there are other ways of raising kids, more peaceful and humane ways. They have become their own childhood, and they feel comfortable this way. Sadly.
But then there are those who still remember the pain of being parented in this abusive manner, those who are scarred emotionally, and those who don’t want to put their children through the same nightmare they had to go through. These are the parents who break the cycle, make a conscious decision not to be slaves to their childhood memories anymore, and do everything they can not to repeat the same mistakes with their own children.
You can decide if you are becoming your childhood, or breaking this cycle of violence.
Photo: Matt Batchelor (Flickr)
Makes…you…think. And then think even more. And, maybe, realize we shouldn’t be so harsh on our kids. After all, it’s just an umbrella, figuratively speaking.
“What do we say to a guest who forgets her umbrella? Do we run after her and say “What is the matter with you? Every time you come to visit you forget something. If it’s not one thing it’s another. Why can’t you be like your sister? When she comes to visit, she knows how to behave. You’re forty-four years old! Will you never learn? I’m not a slave to pick up after you! I bet you’d forget your head if it weren’t attached to your shoulders.”
That’s not what we say to a guest. We say “Here’s your umbrella, Alice,” without adding “scatterbrain.”
Parents need to learn to respond to their children as they do to guests.”
― Haim G. Ginott
Photo: thejbird (Flickr)
I love this quote for so many reasons. Too many to even try to explain all of them today. So I will just leave it at that. Great quote! 🙂
Photo: Tammra McCauley (Flickr)
Another deep message today. Sounds simple, yet not many people give it enough thought.
Do you want love or blind obedience (also mistaken for”respect” by some parents) from your kids? If you want to be loved, then be the person worth loving. Would you love someone who constantly intimidates you, yells at you, spanks you, doesn’t respect your opinion, and only wants you to follow everything that person says, all the time? Would you, honestly, be able to love someone like that? Then don’t be that way with your own kids. Be someone they would look up to because they want to, not because they are forced to. Be someone they would enjoy spending time with, someone they would feel like they can trust, because they know you won’t harm them, and will understand and support them. Be someone…you would love yourself if you were in your child’s shoes. Be someone who deserves love.
Photo: Dani Venn (Flickr)