Stumbled upon this article yesterday. It made me laugh and cry at the same time. It is not even that I feel like this, I don’t, maybe because I am not on Pinterest or Twitter, so I have no idea what that does to your state of mind. Well, I do have a blog but I am nothing close to being perfect. Nor do I believe that perfection exists as a general commonly-accepted set of qualities and characteristics found in the same person. Perfection is about having your kids laugh with you and, maybe, even at you sometimes. It is about creating simple yet enjoyable memories that you all will be looking back on with smiles on your faces. It is about being there for your family in happiness and sadness. It is about spending those extra moments you have in your day doing things you all enjoy. And if it is something worthy of Pinterest and it comes effortlessly, and no one sacrifices anything, then be it. But if it something that would never get on Pinterest (like having a messy house and frozen pizza once in a while, yet everyone LOVES those days), then BE IT TOO. Do you see my point? 😉
Full text found here: http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/
“There’s this crazy phenomenon going on right now. Good, devoted mothers get on Pinterest . . . and blogs . . . and Facebook . . . and Twitter . . . and then they flip through parenting magazines and TV channels (full of advertisements and media hype) . . . and they’re convinced they’re not enough.
Trust yourself more.
We live in a world where everyone knows everything, and they can’t wait to give you their advice. And even when you try to do your own research, there are always very many different opinions on the same subject. So, what can you do as a parent to make sure you chose the best for your child based on what you have been told, or learned through your research?
When in doubt, always trust your HEART. Yes, everyone will try to give you their two cents, and share stories about their own children and what “worked” for them, or provide you with pages of latest “research” they really believe in. Still, always trust your heart first, and everyone else later. When your baby cries and needs to be held, or fed, or hugged and kissed, and you’ve been told that “giving in to your infant’s emotional manipulation” will spoil her, still listen to your HEART.
Be there for your baby when she needs you, whenever and however often it can be. I know it is hard at times with so many things we need to take care of, besides just being a Mom or a Dad. But just imagine how hard it is for a tiny new soul in this world when all she knows is you, your face, your smell, your warmth. That is the only thing that exists for her, the only thing that keeps her alive, and she is afraid to lose it. Don’t listen to anyone telling you to train your baby to become less dependent on you. Instead, be proud that someone chose you, and only you, to depend on with her life. Don’t let her down. Be there for her.
I see too often how parents get stressed and embarrassed easily when out in public with their kids. They have too many expectations and create too many unrealistic rules, and always feel uncomfortable and apologetic when kids don’t follow their lead. Lets be honest, children are children, they want to have fun more than they want to worry about making you look ‘good’ by societal standards. Look at it this way: be real in your expectations, give kids some room to keep exploring and enjoying life (while ensuring their safety), let them have some harmless fun if no one gets hurt, and stop worrying about what others think of you. Just STOP worrying about it. We all have our days, both your family and those strangers, we all should be understanding and accepting of each other. One more thing, you will never see these strangers in your life again, but you will always have your kids watching you, and learning lessons from your behavior and how you treat them. Show them that they always come first, and that you care more about your relationship with them than about making a ‘good’ impression on some passers-by by getting too aggressive with your kids while trying to keep them in line. You will start enjoying your outings more this way. And your kids will too.
Nothing lasts forever. Treasure every moment you get to spend with your children and loved ones. Try to fill every moment with things worth remembering. Let go of anger and harsh words, choose love and kindness. Because before you know it…these moments will be gone forever.
by Rachel Wolf of Lusa Organics
These days are fleeting.
Nothing lasts forever.
And I wonder when my son will be as tall as me.
And when my daughter will no longer curl in my lap and kiss my cheeks.
I wonder at how much longer my arms will be the welcome nest that my children flock to, encircling them as they sleep.
And when they will finally pull away. Continue reading
There was so much I had to learn about tantrums and acting out. Believe me, it is easier when you know how and why it happens, and when you know how you can respond to such situations peacefully and calmly, just like wise parents should.
Great article from Janet Lansbury – Elevating Childcare™ “No Bad Kids – Toddler Discipline Without Shame (9 Guidelines)”.
Full text : http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/04/no-bad-kids-toddler-discipline-without-shame-9-guidelines/
“Acting out is the push-pull of your toddler testing his burgeoning independence. He has the overwhelming impulse to step out of bounds, while also desperately needing to know he is securely reined in. There is no question that children need discipline. As infant expert Magda Gerber said, “Lack of discipline is not kindness, it is neglect.”
I took my kids to a public pool today, and it was a sad experience, in a way. What is it with parents disregarding their kids’ wishes about not being dragged in the cold water, not being forced to start learning to swim? This is NOT how you teach your kids to stop being afraid of water. This is NOT how you teach children to swim. I don’t like it when I hear parents boast how they just threw their screaming kid in the water and he had no choice but to swim, and look at him now, yay! Sad ‘yay’, really. Sad that we choose to ignore to listen to what our children are trying to tell us and proceed with our own agenda. I know some adults who are afraid of water and can’t really swim, or can swim but are not comfortable doing it, all because their caregivers just kept throwing them out there telling them it was ok, they could do it, they shouldn’t be afraid. How can you tell someone to just stop being afraid of something by forcing them to be emerged in that something when they are not ready? It doesn’t make sense to me. Does it to you?
‘How negative parenting emotionally scars us’ self reflection.
I used to be a control-freak. I am sure I got it from my mom, she would keep us all in line and demand that everything be done her way. And her way was not always the best, but any changes to her system were not welcome, and we were always scolded, yelled at, and punished. I grew up in a house of million rules and zero flexibility even when we were little kids. We were taught to fear and expect the worst when we allowed ourselves any independence in making even minor decisions regarding pretty much anything you can imagine, and she was never ever happy with anything we did, because we never did it right. This was part of my mom’s idea of strict discipline, and she never saw how this would contribute to a broken relationship we have with her today. There is too much misunderstanding, mistrust, disappointment, and anger we both feel for each other. Sad.