Quote (Jane D. Hull)

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Be there for your kids, and be there for them in the most positive way possible. If you have to choose between yelling and punishing them and between choosing more peaceful ways of discipline, make sure you choose something that will make them respect you for taking the effort to teach them with love and respect. Childhood is extremely important in helping a child learn the most about life in these few years they are fully dependent on us. Be wise and teach them that loved ones are here to help and support them, not to cause them pain and destroy their spirit. Choose love and positive discipline.

Photo: Emily Barney (Flickr)

Children learn what they live

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Children Learn What They Live
by Dorothy Law Nolte

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. Continue reading

Children are the owners of their bodies

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This is another subject that might puzzle some parents but it is a very SERIOUS issue that we all need to think about. What is more important, your child’s future well-being and ability to respect his/her own body or your relative/friend’s temporarily hurt feelings? I know I pick my children’s side on this. No forced hugs, kisses or other physical displays of affection that have no meaning, it is much better to let your kids decide when and how they want to express their love for others. Continue reading

Obedience should not be the goal

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Do you believe in strict discipline? Do you use physical punishment at home? Do you make your children fear you? Would they be looking for emotional support elsewhere because they do not get it at home? Even at the price of their own bodily autonomy? Would they trust you enough to tell you that they have been sexually abused? Would you like to prevent that from happening to your child??? Think about these questions and research gentle discipline.

This article discusses sexual abuse and here is a short preview:
http://www.coe.int/t/dg3/children/1in5/Source/PublicationSexualViolence/Hitrec.pdf

“Having good communication with children is of key importance. It implies openness, determination, straightforwardness and a friendly, non-intimidating atmosphere. It can facilitate giving children clear guidelines to ensure their safety and teaching them how to recognise potential dangers. This is the only way for adults to pave the way for children to speak openly about their concerns and doubts, or disclose sexual abuse. Continue reading

Time ins, not time outs

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Not sure what this means? Maybe this article can help a bit. If you follow the link you will find other links in the article with more extensive explanations about the two. Excellent place to start your research about time-ins:
http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/08/02/time-in-time-out/

“To me, the traditional version of “time-out” complete with naughty chair and one minute for every year of the child’s age is the equivalent of emotional spanking.

I also have just a common-sense kind of beef with time-out: if your child is that calm that they can go and sit in a chair to “think”, then they probably could have been addressed with other methods of positive discipline to guide them. I am all for helping to guide children.

The opposite end of this spectrum is that when children are not calm and they are falling apart, this is not a teachable moment. If you need a time-out as a parent, I am all for that. However, for the child end of this equation, if your child is so upset and they are melting, how is sending them with their overwhelming feelings to sit in a chair going to help them make the most of this opportunity to learn? Continue reading

Quote (Alfie Kohn)

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Sounds simple but is it, really? Unconditional love and respect for your kids is something that sounds great, but how does it work? Well, it starts with respecting your children enough not to subject them to humiliating and painful methods such as spanking, yelling, hitting, ignoring their cries, traditional time outs, and the list goes on and on. When you claim that despite all that you still love your kids unconditionally, ask yourself this question: would they know that from the way you treat them?
Not so easy after all, is it?

Unconditionally loving parents choose Positive Discipline. Do your research and start here: http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/Discipline

Photo: Stewart Black (Flickr)

MotherWiseLife.org

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MotherWise is an amazing resource for pretty much everything you need to know about pregnancy, birth, parenting, and health. And I am not even joking, it is almost EVERYTHING. I am still finding out something new, once in a while, from them. Thank you, MotherWise moms, for educating so many people tirelessly every day.
Have you discovered them yet? If not, what are you waiting for?
Also on Facebook.

In their own words:
“We are a page devoted to evidence-based, gentle, healthy, and intuitive parenting choices. We want to normalize natural parenting and healthy living. We are pro-breastfeeding, cosleeping, bodily integrity (against forced circumcision), gentle discipline, babywearing, informed food choices, vaccine education, and many other topics. We are firmly against bigotry. Sometimes we’re a little bit Mother Wise-ass”