Do you like being screamed at, hit, spanked, pushed, pulled, kicked, put in time-outs, and humiliated in front of others for doing something that doesn’t please someone? Would you prefer that, instead, people would choose to talk to you respectfully and explain in a normal voice what they disagree with, and how they would like to resolve the situation peacefully? Would you be more willing to listen to them and analyze your behavior in this case? Or would you be more willing to be punished and hurt every day to be taught a lesson? Do you learn better through love, or through pain and fear?
Children are no different from adults. Don’t do to them what you hated being done to you. As an adult, you can defend yourself against a raised hand or voice. As a child…you have no choice other than suffer with no one there to help you.
For everything else there is Positive Discipline/Parenting and Loving Guidance. Do your research today, and change your lives tomorrow.
“Happiness is” project.
I asked people to finish the phrase about happiness, and now putting some interesting quotes on my fence.
This time from Jo Dernedde.
Parenting is about flexibility. If something doesn’t work, change it. If your child doesn’t respond to some method you use, then, instead of complaining about your child, choose something else that might be more effective. Don’t blame your kids for things that do not depend on them. Be flexible, understanding, respectful, and kind, and watch your children become all those things as well.
Photo: Ed McGowan (Flickr)
This is something that some parents still have a problem with not because they are bad parents, but because they don’t know why it happens and not sure how they should react, if at all. I think it is time more parents got educated on the subject for the sake of their boys.
This is a wonderful article from Ahaparenting.com in which Dr. Laura Markham responds to this concern raised by a worried parent.
Full text found here:
“What does your son’s strong interest in girly things mean?
MANY four year old boys play princess. Many say pink is their fave color. This is natural and normal, as much as when girls reject princesses and pink in favor of soccer and pirates. As parents become less dictatorial about conventional gender roles, boys are feeling more free to explore. That’s a good thing.
How can you manage your own worrisome thoughts about this?
First, you acknowledge them. What are you worried about? That your son might be gay? What would be so bad about that? Would it make him any less lovable to you? Would it make his life any less fulfilling?”
Time for another reminder about NO car seats on top of shopping carts.
I love this article: http://carseatblog.com/10985/shopping-carts-eeek-what-not-to-do-with-your-infant-carseat/
“I see this ALL. THE. TIME. I know you must see it too. Perhaps you’re even guilty of this yourself. Here’s why it’s such a concern and what you can do to reduce the risk of your baby being seriously injured in a fall off a shopping cart.
The problem: Infant carseats aren’t designed to be secured to the top of a shopping cart. Most carseat manufacturers specifically prohibit using their seats this way but that warning is usually buried along with 30 other generic warnings in the instruction manual so it doesn’t get much attention. Plus we’re a monkey-see, monkey-do society, so many parents think this is a perfectly acceptable practice.
The issue is that the carseat isn’t strapped in or snapped onto the cart. It’s just perched on top. Sometime it’s perched in a way that’s fairly stable but more often than not, it’s just teetering on the top with little support. One good bump and that seat (with baby inside) is going to topple. If baby is old enough to kick, grab or try to sit up – that increases the chances of falling. If the baby is old enough to kick, grab or try to sit up and the harness straps are loose, or worse yet – not buckled at all, that greatly increases the chances of a fall. And if you have a preschooler shopping with you – the chances of baby toppling off the cart just increased ten-fold. In case you haven’t noticed, little kids like to push the cart, climb on the cart and hang off the sides of the cart as soon as you turn your back. The cart isn’t the most stable object on 4 wheels to begin with, so adding a toddler or preschooler into the equation can be a recipe for disaster.
The Easy Solution: Don’t do it.
Sharing. The hardest thing to referee, to teach, and to peacefully resolve during play dates. Right? Or maybe it doesn’t have to be so hard? The article below from Janet Lansbury is a great explanation of how children work, and how parents should trust them more. I wish I had more opportunities to try it in real life but, unfortunately, other parents often intervene before the kids even had time to realize what was happening, and had a chance to try to resolve it on their own. I am trying this at home a lot though with both my children. I try to lead by example and share with them myself, and thank them when one of them makes a kind gesture and gives up a toy he/she is done with. Doesn’t always happen without too much fuss and noise, but that is the beauty of learning together with my children, and learning to trust them more. Continue reading
I thought this was a perfect fence to create for Aunt Annie’s Childcare with her own wonderful quote to my “Happiness is” project. I had her on my list for a while and I am glad I waited, because now I am really happy of how her wonderful work is presented to the public. This is exactly what she is about–making children’s days better.
Check her out for lots of wonderful suggestions and articles on everything positive and kind in caring for children.
Also on Facebook.
In her own words:
“Advice and observations from a qualified carer and educator to help parents and childcare professionals maintain a loving, respectful relationship with their children.”