No one can convince me otherwise.
If you wonder why I chose positive parenting and gentle discipline, it is because I want my children to grow up in a loving environment that wouldn’t turn them into bullies, as just one of the many reasons.
But why do I care so much and try to educate others? Because my kids will be growing up alongside other kids, who might have come from punishing families that turned them into bullies. I do NOT want my kids to become victims because other parents made very poor choices. That is why I care, and that is exactly why everyone should.
I found this article very helpful in understanding the causes of bullying.
“When a child is bullied, who is at fault? Is it nature or nuture that makes a bully? Given that parental influences play such a powerful role in shaping the behaviour of a child, where does bullying fit in? Is it fair for parents to wipe their hands off the blame by pointing fingers at influences outside of themselves?
This is what I believe and what I practice. If I realize I am doing something wrong, I don’t let my pride stop me from fixing my mistakes and becoming a better person and a better parent. In this age of information ignorance is a choice. Educate yourselves, be open to new facts, and do better for your kids the next time around. There is no other way, really.
I have been searching for a good article on why “hugging it out during tantrums” works but couldn’t find anything better than this story. I myself started hugging my 3 y/o during tantrums about a year ago (provided she let me), and I have noticed a huge difference in the amount of time it took to help her calm down. It also helped me feel good about myself when instead of screaming or getting mad at her, I just hugged her. It made me feel good showing her how much I loved her even when others thought she didn’t deserve it at that very moment. One year later now, she comes to me randomly asking for hugs, or offers hugs when mommy is feeling “grumpy”, and I can not even remember when she had a huge tantrum last time, not bragging here but being honest. Would I go back to my old ways of getting angry at her behavior? NEVER! Hugging definitely beats any violent response to almost any kid-related tough moment.
I heard a few times by now that not everyone is aware I actually write my messages on a REAL fence. To dispel this myth, here is a photo of my unedited fence that my daughter is trying to destroy, as she and her little brother usually do the second after I take a picture of it for the page. So here is a brief description of what my work involves:
I use our black fence, which works great because I doubt white one would work in this case. I buy super-bright, almost neon colored chalk. I use my digital SLR camera. I tried using my other point-and-shoot little camera and the results were not exactly the same.
First I decide what I want to write if I am lucky and have the time for it. If not then I need to come up with my messages as I go, hoping the kids would not distract me too much to cause spelling or stylistic mistakes (happened before). Continue reading
Here is another great source for anything that would help you treat your babies with respect and gentleness they deserve. Lisa Sunbury, Regarding Baby, discover something new if you haven’t already.
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I provide information, resources, and support for parents and others who care for young children. I hope to inspire others to recognize the transformative power and importance of caring for babies and toddlers with respect.”